The Tesla “Cybertruck” is a vehicle in possession of a distinctive appearance if nothing else. Setting aside whether this distinction is good distinction (indicators of its commercial viability are mixed), it is mostly on account of said distinction that I distinctly recall seeing four, and exactly four, Cybertrucks in the wild in Brooklyn (two black, one silver, and one some shade of green). On November 14, 2024, I happened across the third Cybertruck I saw in Brooklyn, parked in Brooklyn Bridge Park.
Of all the places I would expect to find a Cybertruck, Brooklyn Bridge Park is not high on the list. Regular readers may see that the Cybertruck’s unexpected appearance in this scene is not the only reason I took and published the photo. In the background you can see two boats docked by Pier 6 that I have published full articles about: the Victory Chimes and the Alfred E. Smith. But while I invite you to read by articles about those boats by following the links, let us return to the Cybertruck.
Just five days before I encountered the Cybertruck of Brooklyn Bridge Park, I read an article by Ted Gioia on his blog titled Why Is the Tesla Cybertruck So Depressingly Ugly? The article makes for good reading and cites to John Ruskin, which draws my approval. But instead of engaging with the broader points on contemporary aesthetics addressed by Mr. Goia in the post (“the Cybertruck tells us much about the corruption of aesthetics in our time”) or with his comparing the design of the Cybertruck unfavorably to that of the in-progress Sagrada Familia Cathedral, I will note these excerpts from Mr. Gioia’s negative opinion of the Cybertruck itself:
- It resembles “nothing less than a militia tank for some imminent civil war.”
- “[T]he Cybertruck looks like it was designed by a third grader with a pen and ruler–who spent about three minutes drawing straight lines on the back of a homework assignment.”
- “What is it? Maybe a shipping crate? A garbage dumpster? A coffin from Dracula’s castle?”
- “It has about as much emotional warmth as a battering ram or piece of sheet metal–both of which it resembles, by the way.”
- “[T]he Cybertruck replaces beauty with power. This car wants to look intimidating to outsiders, like a bully strutting on the playground.”
These are humorous and interesting takes. For whatever it is worth, I do not think it represents a tank, although if we start seeing Cybertrucks show up in Syria or Cybertruck technicals in Africa, I will revise my opinion. I will confess to being mildly triggered by Mr. Gioia’s suggestion that it looks like it was designed by a third grader because it suggests that third graders are more capable of drawing straight lines than I am (true, but some things are best left unsaid). I agree in full that the Cybertruck is devoid of emotional warmth, but I am not sure it “replaces beauty with power” because it looks as if it will crumple neatly on when push comes to shove. I suspect the whole thing is some kind of joke, albeit I am not sure how many Cybertruck owners are in on the joke.
But let us focus on Mr. Gioia’s comparisons for the Cybertruck. He suggests it resembles a shipping crate, garbage dumpster, coffin from Dracula’s castle, battering ram, or piece of sheet metal. These are all interesting suggestions. But I have a different thought.
As I noted in an article about a classic Electronic Gaming Monthly April Fools joke, I owned a Sega 32X back in the mid-1990s. For those not in the know, the now-30 year old 32X was an ill-fated video game console which plugged into the far more successful Sega Genesis’ cartridge slot and protruded from the Genesis like a mushroom (despite plugging into the Genesis’ cartridge slot, it needed its own power brick without replacing the Genesis’ power brick). Once set up, the 32X cartridge slot accommodated Sega Genesis game and Sega 32X games. The 32X boasted a significant power upgrade to its host, albeit it still failed in large part because it paled in comparison to comtemporaries in the Sony PlayStation, Sega’s own Sega Saturn, and subsequently the Nintendo 64. But I did not play any of those more powerful consoles until after the 32X, so the 32X represented my first meaningful encounter with 3D video games.
I did not have a complete library of 32X games, but I distinctly remember that my first two cartridges were Virtua Racing Deluxe and and Star Wars Arcade. Both of which are very distinctly early 3D games of the 1990s – where the models are blocky and you can make out the rough edges of every polygon. At the risk of dating myself, the first thing I thought when I found myself face-to-face with the sheet metal of the Cybertruck was Virtua Racing. For example, see this screenshot of an in-game stock car in Virtua Racing Deluxe (archived version) on Moby Games. The sharp, not-too-smooth polygons give it a sort of Tesla Cybertruck vibe. For whatever it is worth, the handling of polygons is very similar in Star Wars Arcade, but the X-Wings and Y-Wings do not remind me as much of the Cybertruck as do the vehicles in Virtua Racing. This YouTube “long-play” video gives you a great look at the Cybertruck’s 1994 predecessor in action (make sure to see the most Cybertruck-like prototype race starting here).
Thus, allow me to throw my theory into the ring – the Tesla Cybertruck is a car from an early-to-mid 1990s 3D racing game inserted into the 3D world in the 2020s. I dare say it could be straight out of Virtua Racing. My Tesla Cybertruck theories aside, you can learn more about Virtua Racing Deluxe for the 32X in a 2008(!?) IGN Review and 2012 review up Super Adventures in Gaming.
(PS: While I never had an Atari Jaguar, I have seen enough screenshots of Jaguar games to lead me to suspect that the Jaguar may have some better Cybertruck inspiration candidates than the 32X.)
