Our Prompt: AI Replacements
On May 28, 2026, Sixth Tone published a report by He Qitong titled He Quit Baidu. But First He Had to Build an AI Version of Himself. You can think of Baidu as China’s internal answer to Google, with “Google” meaning the broader suite of Google products and services, not only the search engine. The article is interesting and its “content” is well-represented by the headline. On first glance, one may think that I am about to offer my thoughts on the phenomenon of companies trying to replace employees with AI and related ethical and practical quandaries. One would be wrong in that assumption, however. Much like I did exactly one-month-and-a-half ago in April when I published AI Today, Calculators Back in the Day, I will use an article about today’s AI trends to share a story from my own high school days, well before the current AI moment. Just like large language models can turn human output into content, we can turn articles about AI into prompts for own own human stories.
That Time I Replaced Myself With a Person
The April article I referenced above covered a story from my senior year of high school. Today, we go back one year further to when I was in 11th grade.
I took “Math B” in my junior year, which corresponded to an optional New York State Regents Examination (the regular Regents diploma only “required” Math A). Math A and B no longer exist in the same forms they did back when I was in high school, but that is neither here nor there. Also neither here nor there is when I helped a teacher by serving as the “answer bank” for an exam related to the global history Regents. But I digress.
Math B was the first class of the day. The classroom we used for it was in the shape of a long rectangle. Instead of desks, we had several long white folding tables arranged lengthwise, I want to say two rows of four tables. I sat at the back-left-most table (closest to the entrance) with three other students.
I took several AP exams in my junior year – I will note without having studied or had real AP classes (I managed to secure 12 college credits in English and U.S. History despite those hindrances). The AP exams were administered during school hours. Thus, they required me to miss classes before lunch on the days I took them.
I arrived at school before my exam and as the first classes were set to begin thinking to myself that it would be sad for Math B to go on without me (I only missed two days of school in high school, both of which came after winter break in 9th grade when I was recovering from the flu, so suffice it to say, I had not missed (or even been late to) any Math B classes).
Then I had a “Eureka!” moment. To explain the moment, we must briefly leave high school and return to elementary school.
Back in elementary school, kids were encouraged to wear costumes on Halloween. I often wore a blazer, and I did that day as well (no costume required). In 2000 (the same school year which gave me a blue paint memory), one of my classmates decided to be “me” for Halloween. He just added a jacket stet his outfit. Well played good sir, well-played. Before returning to the story at hand, I will note that I rekindled the joke in its original form in my senior year of high school. We ordinarily had a dress code which was enforced against boys and sporadically enforced against girls. One of the girls in the class below mine insisted that I do something for Halloween. I assured her that I would do something. She liked to wear all black and was into metal and stuff. So I decided to wear my black oxford shirt with a dark tie (the tie was probably dark, but not entirely black), sweater-vest, and slacks that day. To be sure, that was not “unusual” per se, and I would not be surprised if I had worn something to that effect at some point. But while context is often overrated, sometimes it is not. She asked me what I was doing for Halloween. “I’m you.” She looked at me blankly, and, without my noting that I was wearing all black, she picked up on what I meant and said, “I hate you.”
Returning to 11th grade, I flagged down a goofy kid who was in our Math B class and who typically sat 2-3 tables down from me (also in the back row). I asked him if he could be me in Math B. He said no problem. Note I did not provide any instructions. For one, am I to tell someone how to be “me”? Perish the presumption of unearned expertise! Perish the mere thought of such pretentiousness! Begone! (Ahem.) For two, I vaguely recall that it was just about time for me to make my way to the exam room, so I would not have had time to engage in a “how to be ‘me’” lecture or strategy session even if I were to have been beset by those thoughts I just perished with prejudice.
I went to the room for my AP exam without stopping by Math B, and I was taking the AP test while Math B and other pre-lunch classes transpired. When I left, I bumped into the Math B teacher who laughed, shook his head, and said that was good. What was good? I had to ask around to put together what had happened. My detective-work revealed that my replacement had taken what would have normally been my seat in Math B. The teacher apparently did a double take and asked my replacement why he was sitting there (note there were no “assigned” seats, so the teacher was only noting it was unusual to see him there). My replacement reportedly said “I’m Nick.” The teacher reportedly responded “No you’re not.”
Now replacement Nick’s response was perfect, a genuine and pristine 999, but some context is required. Another classmate of mine, not the replacement, had a gift for creating catch phrases. (On one occasion, he required my expert baseball coaching because he was not paying attention to the third base coach when he was on first base). Among the memorable ones were insorn and insarn (I know that both were more insane than insane but I never figured out which was the most insane between insorn and insarn). I previously shared two stories of his sayings.
First, I quote me from Back in my day take on EA in-game ads (pertinent portions excerpted):
[He] was playing Madden. He was using the Chargers … I heard him keep yelling “GATESSS!” For those not in the know, Antonio Gates was an all-pro tight end for the Chargers … This kid kept throwing to Gates and pumping his fist and yelling “GATESSS!” every time it worked out. It became a thing throughout the year. Sometimes he would just yell “GATESSS!” I think some others adopted it too. Just try it when someone does something good. It is catchy.
Nicholas A. Ferrell
That article also includes the story of that one time he scolded a classmate for making a joke that he did not think was funny (not as in offensive, just not funny). Good stuff.
Anyway, that kid’s best catchphrase was, in a single word: “Idunnobout-thaaat.”
I stole Idunnobout-thaaat. So did others. It was a great line. That kid had a gift.
With the context noted, I can now share my replacement’s response to the teacher telling him that he was not, in fact, “me.”
Idunnobout-thaaat.
Nicholas A. Ferrell(???)
Genuine(?) Life Lessons(?) For You(?)
We now come full circle. When I read about the now-former Baidu employee replacing himself with AI, I thought of that time that I replaced myself in Math B with a classmate, who was of course a human-being. The big tech titans and AI merchants want you to think that you can only replace yourself with a chatbot. But let my story stand as proof that it is possible to replace yourself humanely—with a flesh-and-blood human being instead of a chatbot. That is how we replaced ourselves back in my day. If you ever find yourself needing to replace “you,” look at the world around you instead of pulling out your phone and prompting ChatGPT, Claude, Ernie, or whatever nonsense Spotify may be offering these days. Have the courage to ask a friend, peer, or co-worker to be you. The worst case scenario is that your would-be replacement tells you something to the effect of “Idunnobout-thaaat.” But sometimes that person will agree and then tell someone who challenges “him or her” about being “you”: “Idunnobout-thaaat.”
