The Steak Debate: Quips and a Life Well-Done

Well-Done Intro

I like steak, although I do not eat it often (in fact I cannot remember the last time I had steak). But I like steak, and all forms of beef, with a qualification: It must be well-done. I have discovered in life that some raw-steak enjoyers are keenly sensitive about some people preferring that their steak be cooked. But I am in good company – five of the 47 U.S. Presidents: Ulysses Grant, Harry Truman, Ronald Reagan, Donald Trump, and Donald Trump¹ – have insisted on well-done steak. Thus, at least 10.6% of our presidents demand well-done steak. (Former President Barack Obama drew raw steak enjoyer ire for preferring “medium-well” steak. While I am in the well-done camp, I would be open to counting this as a partial-win.) I am sure there are more and I am now satisfied that I am in good company.

Unlike many raw-steak and raw-fish enjoyers², I am not too invested in how other people enjoy their steak beyond not wanting to bear witness if it is not cooked through. Thus, you may be wondering why I am taking the time to write this article.

Let me tell you a story.

Steak on a Leash

Back in high school, the subject of steak came up in a group discussion outside of class. In this discussion, I noted that I liked my steak well-done. A classmate, the “model” in my model-maker story, scorned my preference. But he did not just disagree, he did so in a way that I remember close to two decades after the exchange:

I want my steak to come out on a leash and say ‘moo.’

Now I think that is horrifying even in the figurative sense. I do not want to see anyone eating floppy red steak, much less seeing it on my plate myself. While I am good at retorts (if I do say so myself), I will concede that I could not top my high school friend’s “moo” line, but I did what I could on short notice.

I want my steak to crumble into dust when I touch it with my fork.

Reminiscing about this story reminded me of two later (but not much later) steak memories.

(I previously referenced the “moo” line in a 2021 Justin and Justina Dialogue and article on 19th century recipes for sick people.)

Steak and Judgmental Waitresses

Back in June 2008, my high school friend held a graduation lunch with other friends and family. I attended. The restaurant had prix-fixe meals. The steak/beef meal (I forget the exact dish) looked good, so I went with that. But when I specified to the waitress that I wanted the steak to be well-done, she looked at me with concern and began to lecture me about why this would not be the best way to enjoy the beef. Having gathered that this restaurant had some sort of moral objection to cooking beef, I cut her off and switched to one of the non-beef options for the betterment of all.

For whatever it is worth, I understand the restaurant’s position in a broad sense. In their view, the dish involves under-cooked (in my evaluation, at least) steak, and they were not inclined to take responsibility for how cooked (in my evaluation, at least) steak would come out. I accept that as fair (whether it is good business practice is another question). But I would prefer just being told that they are not willing to cook the steak in the way I prefer than being lectured about why I should want floppy red steak as if I had never contemplated the issue.

Spending More to Have Steak Cooked

Almost exactly one year later on June 13, 2009, I planned to attend the Miguel Cotto-Joshua Clottey fight (boxing) at Madison Square Garden (excellent fight and great atmosphere). My friend wanted to go to a Manhattan steakhouse before the fight. I agreed. When we arrived, he suggested splitting one of the steaks since (A) they were big and (B) they were expensive. I initially agreed, but we reached an impasse. He wanted medium-rare. I wanted cooked. In the end, the gap could not be bridged, so we each bought our own steak. I recall whatever I bought was somewhere in the area of $50-60, so I suppose we each spent about $25-30 to have our preferred steak cooking level. Fortunately, the steak was very good. For whatever it was worth, I assume that 2-3 hot dogs at MSG would have cost about the same amount as the steak. (Aside: I recall the steak house had portraits of presidents on the wall.)

Well-Done Life Lessons

Life lesson: There are people out there who scorn, nay, persecute, people who like their steak well-done. But if you, like me, prefer your steak, hamburgers, and any other form of beef to be cooked, stand tall. We wield fire for a reason, and few reasons are better than not having to eat raw meat (or fish, no sushi in this Café).

Footnotes

1. It is convenient for me that Mr. Trump is the 45th and 47th President. It would be even better were I to learn that Grover Cleveland, the 22nd and 24th President, also enjoyed well-done steak. ↩︎
2. We can deal with sushi in a separate article. ↩︎