The New Leaf Journal’s resident fictional dialogue duo, Justin and Justina, found themselves at a discount store. Coincidentally, both of them needed toothpaste.
Expand to learn more about my Justin and Justina dialogue series…
Justin and Justina are a fictional New Leaf Journal dialogue duo created by New Leaf Journal editor Nicholas A. Ferrell. Their dialogues cover their strange, sometimes random conversations (usually) in Brooklyn, New York. If you enjoy this dialogue, you can find many (over 50) more in our Justin and Justina Collection hub.
While Justin and Justina differ in opinion on many subjects including, but not limited to, kitten names, the importance of checking the mail, and what makes for a good joke, they were entirely in accord on preferring discount toothpaste to full-price toothpaste. Of course, discount toothpaste may be discounted for a reason. What follows is a fictional conversation over text (Delta Chat, specifically) between Justin and Justina (they decided that going emoji-only was not practicable in the long-run) between Justin and Justina about their discount toothpaste purchases. This story will be told from Justina’s perspective.
The Story
Justina bought toothpaste at the discount store. But she had a problem. It was certainly not a problem Justina’s good friend, who was with her when she bought the toothpaste, could solve.
“Justin is totally useless,” Justina thought to herself. But that thought did not stop her from asking Justin for advice.
“Again today I dictate” Justina thought as she dictated a message to Justin.
“Help! My toothpaste expires in July!”
Justina quickly received a response from her useless friend.
“So? It’s still technically March. It wasn’t even a big tube.”
“Ugh,” Justina thought to herself. “He doesn’t get it!” She then dictated a new message.
“But I have half a tube left. What if I skip a night here or there? It could expire before I finish.”
Justina hit send, but realized she had forgotten something.
“Will I die?”
That should settle it. Justina was confident that Justin would understand the importance of her question upon seeing that the use of expired toothpaste was a potential life or death matter. Imagine her confusion when she instead received a photograph.
Justina was puzzled. But she remembered that Justin had bought an oddly-colored tube of toothpaste while saying that he needed one that was “SLF-free” but with fluoride. She looked closely and made out a date on the tube. “2026/04” she muttered to herself. She then replied.
“April!?”
Justin responded:
“Yeah. Crazy no? I didn’t check the date.”
“Can you return it?” Justina asked.
“Too late for that. I already started using it. Kind of fruity but it’s good. But there’s a problem.”
Justina thought that looked odd. Of course there was a problem. He just identified it. Before she could come up with a response, Justin sent another message.
“How am I going to eat all this toothpaste before it expires?”
Justina stared blankly at her phone. She was about to respond incredulously before something on her phone caught her eye. The date had changed. It was now April 1, 2026. She shook her head. Justin sent another message.
“I’m going to assume that April is the last good month for it. $2.69 would be a terrible thing to waste”
The True Story
I was just about out of toothpaste one day in mid-March. I went to a Lot Less location in Brooklyn to buy more (see my prior articles on gingerbread soap and oat milk chocolate from that same Lot Less). Like Justin, I like sodium lauryl sulfate-free toothpaste (specifically because I think it causes me to have more canker sores, not some broader opposition). However, I have no aversion to fluoride in my toothpaste. I wanted one that checked both boxes. They only had two. The one in the photograph was Hello brand “Magical Mermaid” toothpaste (note the “tail” of the toothpaste tube in the above image), “orange dreamsicle” flavored. It is indeed fruity (and oddly colorless). While I prefer mint toothpaste, this one tastes fine. Since my purchase, it is now, however, technically past the “expiration” date. But I used it this morning and my teeth have not fallen out. I am also making good progress on it, so I think I’ll ride it out. I had better do so since the second toothpaste I bought, some Sensodyne toothpaste for kids I purchase at the same time has the 07/2026 expiration date that I used for Justina’s purchase.
