On August 7, 2025, The War Zone published an article by Joseph Tirevithick with the ineffably clickable title Cybertrucks Wanted By Air Force As Missile Targets. Back when the brain behind the Cybertruck, Elon Musk, launched a political war of words with President Donald Trump, who had employed him in the White House for much of the first half of the current year, I warned my excited friends that the political dispute between the richest man on Earth who had endorsed Mr. Trump’s opponents in his first two presidential campaigns, and the President of the United States who has dominated American politics for the previous decade would almost certainly not be as exciting as they hoped or feared, more likely resembling the 12-day 2025 war between Israel and Iran than the 8-year war in the 1980s between Iraq and Iran. I dare say my prediction has held up well thus far, at least from the vantage point of political observers who do not spend all of their waking hours on the re-branded X. Tempers cooled. Or so I thought. Let us return to Mr. Tirevithick’s report:
The U.S. Air Force is looking to buy two Tesla Cybertrucks for use as targets for precision munitions during testing and training. The service says it needs these vehicles for this purpose specifically because of the prospect of unspecified adversaries driving around in them in the future.
I did not have the United States Air Force literally bombing Tesla on my bingo card. When I said that the war Mr. Musk started with Mr. Trump would resemble Iran vs Israel, I meant it figuratively — not literally.
Things are getting out of hand.
But I digress. What the Air Force plans to do has nothing to do with politics. What if I told you that I actually did predict this turn of events in The New Leaf Journal several months ago and told readers why it would happen? Moreover, what if I told you that my intel insights on the Tesla’s sharpest vehicle are more over the target than those of the well-connected reporters of The War Zone? You may be reluctant to believe me, but I am about to make you believe me. Let us return to The War Zone:
[I]t is hard to say what may have prompted the belief that U.S. adversaries might soon be driving Cybertrucks. It is worth noting that the primary targets for SOCOM’s SOPGM arsenal, at least as they are publicly known, have been terrorists and militants, especially ones riding in cars and trucks, in the Middle East, South and Central Asia, and parts of Africa.
Mr. Tirevithick gets to the truth at the end of this passage, but I reached the truth before anyone was talking about the truth. Back on December 6, 2025, I wrote an article titled Musing About Tesla Cybertruck at Brooklyn Bridge Park. As the title suggests, the post was prompted by my seeing and documenting one of the Muskmobiles parked in Brooklyn Bridge Park. I was primarily concerned with the polygon-aesthetics of the angular machine, ultimately describing it as reminiscent of race cars in arcade and console racing games from the first half of the 1990s. That, in turn, led me to a segue about my former Sega 32X console. But let us step back from digression and segue again to what that article has to do with the United States Government commencing a bombing campaign against Tesla. I quote from my article, which was not solely concerned with aesthetics:
For whatever it is worth, I do not think [the Cybertruck] represents a tank, although if we start seeing Cybertrucks show up in Syria or Cybertruck technicals in Africa, I will revise my opinion.
I will have you know that I wrote that without a crystal ball. Lest anyone things that I am re-writing the past, consult this December 6, 2025 capture of my article and bask in my prescience.
It turns out that the Air Force is not actually declaring war on Tesla. Leading logicians and strategists in the Air Force and the then-incoming second Trump Administration came across The New Leaf Journal. Before they read my article, no one but me had realized that our terrorist adversaries in Africa and the Middle East were planning to acquire Cyber Trucks and make use of them on the battlefield. I subtly revealed what was happening before our so-called thought leaders realized it. Normal people thought I was just weighing in on the Cyber Truck aesthetics and using the opportunity to talk about video game consoles I had nearly 30 years ago. But the intelligence community picked up on my secret message. I am glad to see that the Administration and the United States Air Force have finally given their attention to this matter, and I hope that Mr. Musk is prepared to thwart attempts by Al Shabab, Al Qaeda, ISIS, our friends in the Syrian government, and Iran and its proxies, and the Afghan and Pakistani Talibans to acquire Cyber Trucks.
(Come to think of it, the Amazon e-cargo “bikes” may have an easier time navigating some of the urban environments in North Africa and the Middle East.)
I do this all for free and do not expect my intelligence-gathering efforts to be rewarded. With that being said, I am still waiting for my reward for having provided information that could have led to the arrest of Sirajuddin Haqqani before the bounty on him was lifted in order to facilitate the release of a number of American hostages from Afghanistan.
(P.S. The cool Eddy’s branded Cybertruck I wrote about should be off limits for target practice.)
