Below, you will find a fictional dialogue between Justin and Justina, two unusual-yet-similarly-named friends (see the full series). Today’s dialogue finds Justin and Justina walking down a Brooklyn, New York, sidewalk. They cross paths with a woman pushing a stroller. There was only one parent – so no stroller navigation issues were at play. However, we will find that Justin had another problem with the situation.

Cross-Legged in the Stroller

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Justin: Can you believe that?
Justina: Believe what?
(Justin motions toward the stroller that just passed them.)
Justina: The stroller, what about it?
Justin: Did you see the kid?
Justina: I suppose. What about him? You think he was too old? I mean sure, he was probably six or seven, but that’s what they all do today.
Justin: That’s part of it, but did you see how he was sitting?
Justina: I didn’t notice.
Justin: Cross-legged!
Justina: He was? What about it? You always sit cross-legged.
Justin: Not in a stroller!
Justina: I suppose…
Justin: Who does the brat think he is? John Quincy Adams?

Painting of John Quincy Adams sitting cross-legged with a book.
“No Known Restrictions: John Quincy Adams, President of the United States / painted by T. Sully ; eng. by A.B. Durand (LOC)” by pingnews.com is marked under CC PDM 1.0. To view the terms, visit https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/

Justina: Maybe he thought he was you.

Give the Kid a Cigar and Whisky

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Justin: This is no laughing matter. I’m very upset right now.
Justina: It was just a kid sitting cross-legged in a stroller. Besides, his feet would have been dragging on the ground if he wasn’t.
Justin: As soon as the kid crosses his legs in the stroller, you throw him out!
Justina: I mean I suppose if the thought even occurs to the kid, he or she should be walking.
Justin: He should be walking to the lounge!
Justina: The lounge?
Justin: Give him a cigar and whisky!

Image of a tall man with a pipe approaching a short man with a smaller pipe used to illustrate a humorus article titled SHAKSPEARE AND THE UNMUSICAL GLASSES in an 1891 issue of Punch Magazine.
Clipped from the March 7, 1891 issue of Punch magazine. We recognize that the short man has a pipe, not a cigar. But our image choice is fitting given the associated content of that article.


Justina: Isn’t he underage?
Justin: Don’t ask questions in that form. I’m sensitive!
Justina: Not this again…
Justin: So darn full of himself.
Justina: Are we still talking about the kid in the stroller?
Justin: He thinks he’s better than us!
Justina: He probably is.
Justin: Totally agree. That kid will be going places if his mother lets him walk before he turns 10.
Justina: …