Below, you will find a fictional dialogue between Justin and Justina, two unusual-yet-similarly-named friends. You can read their earlier adventures here. We are going to do something a little bit different than usual with today’s dialogue introduction.
Part I: Why Didn’t You Tell Me About the Cow Parade!?
Justin greets Justina in DUMBO’s Main Street Park. Justina seems to be annoyed about something. What could it be?
Justin: What’s up?
Justina: I’ll tell you what’s up. Did you see Nick’s article about the Cow Parade?
Justin: Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. He had a good angle on those photos, but a bit fuzzy. He needs to get a better handle of his new phone camera.
Justina: That’s not what I meant! It’s over! We didn’t go! We could have gone to see cows and given me an excuse to go shopping!
Justin: Is this more about the cows or the shopping?
Justina: Cows! I would have only pretended to shop but not bought anything.
Justin: I see. Well in that case, I have an idea.
Justina: You do? It had better be good.
Justin: I’m going to take you to see a statue that is more wild than the cows.
Justina: Wild?
Justin: I chose my words carefully. It’s going to be a bit of a walk, are you ready?
Justina: Same borough?
Justin: Brooklyn, don’t worry.
Justina: This had better be good.
Justin: It’ll be something.
Justina: That’s what I’m worried about.
Part II; Justin Did Not Lie – It Is, In Fact, “Wild”
Justin took Justina all the way to Smith and West 9th Street in Gowanus before turning off to his destination. Readers of The New Leaf Journal can glean a rough idea of the location from my noting that it is a few blocks down from the site of my heroic trash can rescue. The journey takes a bit over an hour, due to the fact that it is a good-length walk and also because Justina took many stops along the way. The Summit Street Bridge crossing almost did her in. Our heroine is tired and cranky when they reach Justin’s destination. Will it all be worth it?
Justina: I’m tired. This is far. Far!
Justin: Don’t worry, we’re here. I have a sight for sore eyes.
Justina: …Where?
Justin: Ten o’clock.
Justina: …
Justin: Pretty wild, huh?
Justina: You made me walk all this way to see a junk-man statue?
Justin: He prefers scrapmetal statue.
Justina: So I said I was disappointed that you did not tell me about the cows. How did that make you bring me here?
Justin: Was I wrong to think that any statue would do?
Justina: Yes! I wanted to see cows and pretend to shop at fancy stores! We are in the middle of nowhere under elevated Subway tracks looking at a statue of a man made out of junk!
Justin: He said he prefers scrapmetal man.
He Has Feelings, You Know
Justin: He has feelings, you know.
Justina: Does he?
Justin: Indeed. Look closely. He’s fixing his hair to go out to brunch.
Justina: Now that you mention it…
Justin: Going out with friends. Over-priced food. Bad sanitation. Day-drinking. That phony laughter. Pantomining human interaction. The Instagrin shots.
Justina: Insta-GRAM.
Justin: Whatever. He’s ready.
Justina: I guess I’d go to brunch with him.
Justin: You see!
Justina: Wait a second…
Justin: What?
Justina: You’re trying to make me forget about the cow betrayal!
Justin: True, but I felt a little bad for him.
Justina: Don’t worry Mr. Brunch-Junk-Man, I didn’t mean what I said about you. The real problem here is Justin, not you.
Justin: I’m glad you two reconciled.
Justina: We haven’t though!
Justin: We’re a lost cause.
Justina: Yeah…