Below, you will find a fictional dialogue between Justin and Justina, two unusual-yet-similarly-named friends. In today’s dialogue, Justin and Justina are shopping for indoor plants at Lowe’s. Justina notices a sparrow inside Lowe’s. Sparrows are supposed to be outside, are they not? We pick up the dialogue with Justin and Justina browsing a very green section of the indoor plant section.
Act I 〜 The Sparrow in Lowe’s
Justina: Look there, what’s that?
Justin: There? A very green pothos. Good call. Plant for all seasons. Indestructible. I think I need a fourth.
Justina: No not the pothos. On the pothos.
Justin: Hmm. Appears to be a sparrow. Hey, did you know the story of how sparrows arrived in New York City?
Justina: Why is it inside?
Justin: Probably flew in from the outdoor garden center when someone went in or out.
Justina: But why would it come inside? Wouldn’t it rather be outside?
Justin: Probably. Mistake, perhaps. Saw the plants in here?
Justina: But there are plants out there.
Justin: Mistakes happen. Could be overwhelmed now, confused. Lost.
Justina: But it just came in from those doors right over there! It’s not very smart.
Act II 〜 The Justina at Lowe’s
Justina turns to where Justin was, expecting a reaction. Justin is nowhere to be seen. She begins to panic.
Justina: Justin? Where are you? I don’t remember how I got here. I don’t know what these plants are. Why are there so many plants? Justin! You left me! I don’t know what to choose and I’m lost! Will I never make it out of Lowe’s?
Sparrow: …
Justina: …What are you looking at, bird?
Justin: Who are you talking to?
Justina: Where did you go!?
Justin: Went to check out the African violets. Big sale. Marking them down like they’re dead, but not dead, see?
Justina: I thought you left me alone here.
Justin: Oh look, the sparrow just got back outside.
Justina: So weird. Who just wanders into a plant store, gets confused, and then panics?
Justin: Could be motivated by spite. Like a cat.
Justina: Spite? Why would it be spiteful?
Justin: No idea.