I was buying some items at Marshalls on August 13, 2023. My Marshalls location has a checkout line which snakes around a series of shelves between the start of the line and the cashiers (this is probably standard practice). These shelves focus on stocking items that people may be tempted to pick up as the line winds to the registers. I picked up a box of cold brew tea on my trip – so I suppose it worked. I moved up with the line until I was second in line to be called. At that time, I noticed what struck me as a strange item: Body Prescriptions Pumpkin Spice Makeup Removing Wipes.

A bag of Body Prescriptions Pumpkin Spice Makeup Removing Wipes, seen at Marshalls. The bag is black plastic with orange jack-o-lanterns in a pattern. The text of the label under the name reads as follows: "Removes makeup, oil, & dirt. Get a deep clean in seconds that will leave your skin feeling nourished and refreshed."
I appreciate the Oxford comma in the logo. I took this photo with my Pixel 3a XL.

I have seen takes that the pumpkin spice thing is overdone. I do not much mind it. While I do not go around looking for pumpkin spice-flavored or scented items to buy, I have no issue with them. I have had a few pumpkin spice drinks and desserts. Like many things – they can be done well.

In full disclosure, I am not an expert on makeup or makeup removal. Not being an expert has never stopped me from writing about something – see my essay on nineteenth century autumnal women’s fashion trends. But conceding my lack of expertise, I ask whether there is there a market for pumpkin spice makeup removing wipes. Do women want to take in the enchanting scent of artificial pumpkin spice as they wipe away their makeup after a long day? Do they want their faces to smell like pumpkin spice after removing their makeup? I have my doubts. But maybe someone somewhere wants this.

Again conceding my lack of expertise in this area, I imagine that the pumpkin spice makeup removal market is already cornered by the pumpkin spice tea and candle markets. I would think that makeup removal is generally done at the end of the work or school day or after a night out. Rather than enjoy the smell of artificial pumpkin spice only while removing your makeup, why not burn it in candle form for hours? You could also enjoy a nice hot pumpkin spice tea (Republic of Tea and Tea Forte have good ones). This seems to me to be more practical than pumpkin spice makeup removal wipes.

But what do I know? Maybe pumpkin spice makeup removal is already the big thing on TikTok (which should be banned) or whatever. Maybe this article will alert people to the existence of this project and start a trend. I could become an inadvertent influencer.

(Probably not.)

(PS: I would fully support Marshall’s offering solutions for rotting pumpkin removal as we inch closer to the seasons of the decomposing gourds.)