Let us check in on The New Leaf Journal’s resident fictional dialogue duo, Justin and Justina. You can catch up on the archive of these two strange-and-similarly-named friends in their series archive. Back in December, Justin reacted with horror when he inadvertently discovered that Justina never checks her mail. I recommend reading that post before you continue here, for this is the proverbial sequel.

We pick up with Justina sending Justin an SMS text message. Justin is using JMP Chat to read and respond to Justina’s messages.

Thank You Justin!

Justina: Thank you!
Justin: Whatever it is, I didn’t do it.
Justina: …But it says it’s from you.
Justin: I invoke my constitutional right to remain silent.
Justina: The card!
Justin: Card…?
Justina: I just got your card.

Public domain stock photo of a brown envelope on a table from Pexels.
Stock photo of a brown envelope – Public Domain image from Pexels. Credit to the photographer, Mr. John-Mark Smith.

Justin: …
Justina: What? Aren’t you happy?

What Does the Card Say?

Justin: Justina.
Justina: Pumtake is adorable with his hat.
Justin: Justina.
Justina: Yes?
Justin: What kind of hat is “your” pet guinea pig wearing?
Justina: Looks like elf?
Justin: What holiday is that traditionally associated with?
Justina: Christmas?
Justin: Why are you answering obvious questions with questions?
Justina: I don’t know? You’re being weird.
Justin: What holiday is today?
Justina: Valentine’s Day.
Justin: What date did I write on the card?
Justina: There’s a date?
Justin: There’s a date.
Justina: December 23?

When Was the Last Time You Checked Your Mail?

Justin: Justina.
Justina: Yes?
Justin: When was the last time you checked your mail?
Justina: You mean before today?
Justin: Yes.
Justina: Hmm.
Justin: I know when.
Justina: How?
Justin: December 23, 2021.
Justina: That sounds familiar.
Justin: Does it?
Justina: Oh look who’s asking questions now.
Justin: We had this same conversation on December 23.
Justina: Really?
Justin: Because I had mailed that Christmas card.
Justina: Right.
Justin: And you received a card I sent in October.
Justina: That sounds familiar.
Justin: Because it happened.
Justina: Are you sure?
Justin: We memorialized it.
Justina: I see.
Justin: This is too unseasonal, like a Christmas tree in April. Or a rotting Halloween pumpkin in January.
Justina: Please no pumpkins

Why Do You Not Check the Mail?

Justin: Why do you not check your mail? I thought you learned from that experience. Do you remember how shocked your friends were to learn that you don’t check the mail?
Justina: I don’t know why you’re surprised.
Justin: I know I shouldn’t be.
Justina: I mean I distinctly remember asking you if you sent chocolate with the Christmas card since I was going to open it around Valentine’s Day.
Justin: Wait… you remembered the whole thing!
Justina: And there’s no chocolate.
Justin: …
Justina: I remember someone explaining to me that even when you shouldn’t expect something good, you still feel let down if you were surprised before.
Justin: Just check your mail!
Justina: I did!
Justin: Once per week!
Justina: Exhausting.
Justin: As often as you check your social media!
Justina: Mail only comes when I hate myself?
Justin: What if I said yes?
Justina: I’ll forgive you for not sending chocolate with the Valentine’s card but only because you’re taking good care of my guinea pig.

An Update On Another 2021 Dialogue

Justin: Thank you. Is that enough for a White Day present?
Justina: No, but thanks for telling me about White Day last year. I told my boyfriend I expected something and he sent me a card with a bag of expensive chocolate.
Justin: I’m glad to be of service.
Justina: Unfortunately the chocolate had melted.
Justin: I don’t remember it being unseasonably warm last March.
Justina: March? That was when I checked my mail in August. I wonder why they put the chocolate in my mailbox.
Justin: Your mail-checking times seem to be decreasing. Maybe you’re making progress?
Justina: Maybe.