Justin and Justina, two fictional and Brooklyn-based friends, combine to make up The New Leaf Journal’s fictional dialogue duo. In a previous dialogue, Justin expressed mock shock that two seemingly reputable Amazon retailers, GLBSUNION and CUZMAK, were selling defective products. Today, Justin came across an interesting piece of furniture from a different reputable Amazon seller, FOPEAS. However, furniture is expensive. Moreover, Justin has reason to believe that AI may have been involved in the product description. Rather than pull the trigger, Justin decided to ask Justina for advice.

Justin and Justina are a fictional New Leaf Journal dialogue duo created by New Leaf Journal editor Nicholas A. Ferrell. Their dialogues cover their strange, sometimes random conversations (usually) in Brooklyn, New York. If you enjoy this dialogue, you can find many (over 50) more in our Justin and Justina Collection hub.

Dialogue Intro

Justin is on his computer, presumably shopping on Amazon. He comes across an item that captures his interest. To be sure, the item captured his interest and context is overrated. This prompts Justin to send a message to Justina.

Dialogue

Justin: Justina. Do you have experience with the “I’m sorry but I cannot fulfill this request it goes against OpenAI use policy. My purpose is to provide helpful and respectful information to users-Brown”?
Justina: What… what are you talking about?
Justin: Oh, I’m sorry. Pardon me. That was insufficient information.
Justina: I’m confused.
Justin: The seller is FOPEAS.
Justina: Did someone steal your phone?
Justin: I’m surprised you don’t know the hottest sellers on Amazon.
Justina: Wait is this like that thing with the weird Chinese sellers you sent me a few months ago?
Justin: No!
Justina: Ok.
Justin: I believe in FOPEAS!
Justina: Fine. What are you asking me about then?
Justin: I already told you, I’m looking at the “I’m sorry but I cannot fulfill this request it goes against OpenAI use policy. My purpose is to provide helpful and respectful information to users-Brown”
Justina: I still don’t get it.
Justin: $325.19 so it’s a big investment.
Justina: For what!?
Justin: I wonder where the 19 cents came from. Think I can call up FOPEAS and haggle them down to $325.12?
Justina: Haggle for what!?
Justin: I was hoping for a “I’m sorry but I cannot fulfill this request it goes against OpenAI use policy. My purpose is to provide helpful and respectful information to users-Swan White” but what can you do?
Justina: I’m so confused.
Justin: I don’t understand what you’re confused about. I’m sending you the product name!
Justina: Wait that’s the name? Send a picture.
Justin: Fine, so demanding.
Justina: …
Justin:

An Amazon product page for a brand FOPEAS product. The image shows a brown chest of drawers. The product name is "I'm sorry but I cannot fulfill this request it goes against OpenAI use policy. My purpose is to provide helpful and respectful information to users-Brown" and it costs $325.19.
It’s real. See my Wayback Machine link below for proof. See larger image on Pixelfed.

Justina: …Is this real?
Justin: Justina, would I lie to you?
Justina: Yes. Yes you would.
Justin: I anticipated this specious accusation and archived the product page with the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine (see archive link). I had this strange feeling it was not long for the world.
Justina: It’s… it’s real. Wow.
Justin: But this is all beside the point. Buy or no?
Justina: I kind of want to buy it and see what happens.
Justin: Are you going for the protection plan?
Justina: No, those are usually useless right?
Justin: Right. Waste of money. But even if it wasn’t a waste of money, who needs a protection plan when you’re buying FOPEAS’s “I’m sorry but I cannot fulfill this request it goes against OpenAI use policy. My purpose is to provide helpful and respectful information to users-Brown” from brand FOPEAS. Do you think it’s surprising they have no reviews?
Justina: On second thought, I don’t think I’m going to buy it.
Justin: What changed?
Justina: I have a short attention span and I lost interest while reading the product name in your last message.
Justin: It’s NAME is not PRODUCT NAME but I’M SORRY BUT I CANNOT FULFILL THIS REQUEST IT GOES AGAINST OpenAI USE POLICY. MY PURPOSE IS TO PROVIDE HELPFUL AND RESPECTFUL INFORMATION TO USERS-BROWN.
Justina: Right, that.
Justin: It’s a little unwieldy, yeah.
Justina: What happened? Do they just not know anyone who speaks English?
Justin: My best guess is that they took a content farm referral from Sports Illustrated.